animal magnetism

this one is hodgepodge.

1.  a variety of creatures in our neighborhood:  owls, bunnies, deer, bats, lots of bats, bugs for bats to eat and kudzu.  also apparently neighborhood watchmen who take time out from their own driving to write down my license plate in order to report me for a rolling stop.  i’m just trying to hypermile here.

2.  i am a magnet for assholes today.  it’s been all i could do to not cry in response to bitchy reporters’ assistants and a very zealous neighborhood watchman.  i actually did start to cry a little bit but i got over it with comic books and eggplant parmesan and nice people who aren’t assholes.

3.  osiris bought a copy of watchmen (speaking of) for us to read. i am currently in the middle of when you are engulfed in flames, so i gave o first dibs.  i’m sure you’ll all hear all of the opinions i’ve ever had in time.

4.  we’re babysitting a grill that we got in exchange for helping friendly matt and carol move last weekend.  between the exercise, pizza, beer and grill, i’d say it was an even trade.

5.  the comedy central roast of bob saget with roastmaster john stamos. which i will only watch because gilbert gottfried is on the panel.  and some of you may know how i feel about gilbert gottfried.  here’s a hint – i feel really, really good about gilbert gottfried.

6.  i made a stencil of a daschund for a teeshirt for a friendly coworker and it turned out really well.  behold:

also today

i’ve been sitting at the same picnic table for lunch every day recently.  i guess really only when i eat alone, which is only a couple times a week.  but anyway i sit in the shade at this table and write in paper-journal and read and munch.  it’s nice and it’s right by the section of main street where i keep witnessing odd occurences.

a few months ago, in late winter, i saw a ladder truck drop a coffee can full of giant rusty tacks and nails that exploded into the middle of the road.  drivers tried to swerve around them, which was difficult to do since they were all over both lanes in the middle of the intersection.  an old man on a bike stopped and scooped up all the rusty bits in his (luckily gloved) hands and threw away the whole shebang.

a few weeks later i saw a low-speed collision after which neither driver left his car for at least 30 minutes.

today, a mack truck tried unsuccessfully to squeeze under the train overpass.  the top of the container snagged on the bridge and crumple-crunched.  i’m guessing the driver just backed up and went one block over where there is no overpass at all.

lately i’ve been trying out different natural energy drinks from whole foods.  basically just whatever is on sale.  i especially needed one today since every spare bit of my natural energy was directed to help my uterus perform its gross duties.  so i tried hi*ball sparkling energy water.  it was ok and not as sparkling as i would normally like, but it looks really cute and that’s ultimately all that counts.

technology!

we had a blackout last night.  it happened right when i was on my way to bed, like i was just leaving my room to grab my book, and it cut out.  bummer.  the thunderstorm was cool, but the pitch-blackness and lulu-freaking-outness was pretty intense.  so i stayed up a little while and helped hunt down and light candles.  and then osiris and i spent a romantic 22 minutes in bed and watched an episode of upright citizens brigade on my laptop by candlelight.  so old-fashioned.

you can click on this picture for a breakdown of the utility of each item in the case of a blackout:

happy birthday

i made a best-of-first-half-of-2008 digital mix.  oh right!

1. gnarls barkley – surprise

2. lykke li – little bit

3. sigur rós – gobbledigook

4. radiohead – down is the new up

5. dead meadow – i’m gone

6. the black keys – i got mine

7. destroyer – the state

8. bonnie ‘prince’ billy – you want that picture

9. beck – walls

10. man man – rabbit habits

11. the dodos – park song

12. vampire weekend – cape cod kwassa kwassa

13. sébastien tellier – divine

14. m83 – kim & jessie

15. santogold – l.e.s artistes

16. hercules and love affair – true false, fake real

17. firewater – weird to be back

18. jamie lidell – where d’you go

download it:  click it

all kinds

it is 6 minutes shy of my twenty-fifth birthday.  have you ever had feelings?  yeah, probably not.

this weekend was intense and great.  my parents and my grandma had a whole party for me and my namesake, patrice, for our milestone birthdays (25 and 50, respectively).  and drinks and food and presents and great times.

and sunday!  we had a huge breakfast and goodbyes and good times.  and farah and gordon met us at the green leafe for a drink and a cheese fry.  and we ate at food for thought in williamsburg for some salads and chips.

and busch gardens!  we had maximum fun with super heat and rides.  and have you ever seen a fully grown dude act like he just got chest hair?  that’s what it’s like to hang out with osiris and jesse together.  basically lots of farting and horseplay.  it’s the best possible scenario for busch gardens, though, because you get the best years of retarded hilarity without all the stupid hormones.  yes?!

bandits & barbarians

lately, we’ve been occupying our time with 2 things (apart from the normal tv and eating and, you know, work and shit) – playing dr. mario on the nintendo entertainment system and watching arnold schwarzenegger movies on wednesday nights:

• week 1 – total recall and twins.  people were losing their shit to both of these movies.  they’re both basically laugh factories.
• week 2 – nobody came over but osiris watched running man while i went to a rock and roll show.  i caught up over the weekend and watched it.  a quote to sum it up? “i live to see you eat that contract, but i hope you leave enough room for my fist, because i’m going to ram it into your stomach and break your goddamn spine!”
• week 3 (today) – conan the destroyer, which i’m blaspheming by blogging instead of paying attention to it, and terminator 2, a classic by anyone’s standards.
• bonus – last night, we watched hercules in new york, one of arnold’s earlier and more genius works.  a movie so good that the youtube description of the clip i just linked is “I highly recommend this movie to anyone who loves movies made by people who should be cleaning windshields or mopping a floor.” jealous?

also, we’ve been seeing summer blockbusters in the theater.  this weekend we saw journey to the centre of the earth 3d with mattie mark and got gotten pretty badly by some huge piranhas flying at our faces and the most horrible acting i’ve seen in a long time (i would’ve said ever, but we just watched hercules in new york).  we got surcharged 2 dollars for the 3d glasses so we all held on to them so we can see real life in 3d.

i decided that i also didn’t want to continue the chubbing-up process i’ve started (aided in large part by the sheer number of movies we’ve been watching), so i went for a jog today.  i intend to continue to jog until i can comfortably jog for the duration of “babe, i’m on fire” which is about the least any reasonable person six days shy of 25 should expect to be able to do.

uphold your values

osiris and i went and saw ralph nader speak last night in raleigh.  it’s always an honor to see him speak.  i saw him once before, in 2002, in between presidential elections.  the turnout left much to be desired last night, but then he’s not even going to be on the ballot in north carolina this time around.

i will say that ralph nader is probably the single smartest and most influential person i’ve ever seen speak (an illustrious list that also includes barack obama and pat buchanan).  i mean, he just knows what’s up and he knows how to talk about it.  and when he speaks to you, he lectures you and scolds you and makes you think about stuff you’re reluctant to think about.  i particularly liked his ideas on electoral reform.  i mean, we all know the electoral system is screwed up and corrput and wrong.  but ralph has spent his life trying to fix it, and how can you not respect that?  there’s no way, that’s how.

we’re all feeling a little worn out with general election politics this month, i think, and it’s a good opportunity to re-open your mind and test the waters.  i know i am personally feeling pretty hurt and vulnerable and so it was a good opportunity to reawaken some passion for direct involvement (other than just campaign direct involvement, which is its own thing) and organization.  i will say i wished that more than 40 people showed up last night.

in the meantime, behind this link you will find the brilliantly worded, well thought out response i wrote for the ecohouse newsletter after i saw ralph nader speak the first time.  be warned, it’s incredible. 

predict this

i finally found the perfect dress to wear all summer.  it is my intention to wear it every day that i’m not at work.  it is the latest step in my quest for ultimate predictability.  and this morning i am, predictably, watching multiple episodes of ninja warrior and unbeatable banzuke (secretly the most dramatic shows on television) and taking awkward self portraits on the patio.  these are the only two things i do when i’m home alone.

what curiosity got me today

mountain dew flavored doritos.

strugglin’ gums + pixie bug

well now, almost a week after my “procedure” or “extraction” or “something else that sounds as though it may be a euphemism for ‘abortion’ but really means ‘getting my wisdom teeth yanked’,” my gum holes are still really uncomfortable.  which, of course, i now assume is dry socket.  actually, reading that article now, it probably actually is dry socket, which blows because i took care to not be too much of an asshole to myself after i got these teeth aborted.

anyway, after a few days of pretty annoying pain, god apparently decided to reward me with this sight of a bug on a pixie sculpture on the side of our driveway.  three things to note:

1. i did not know this pixie sculpture even existed at all until i saw it when i was going down the driveway to check the mail.
2. the bug is perfectly placed as an oversized hat pin.
3. holy crap, it’s two bugs!  and they’re totally doing it on that pixie’s leaf cap!  nasty.