i mean, i am in a total funk. i keep getting bowled over by these pesky feelings. o is leaving for what right now will be a 2 week cross-country jaunt, but feels more like a reconnaissance mission. see what’s on the horizon. so my head is all tangled full of thoughts and feelings and expectations. i won’t actually know anything until it happens. and that’s how everything in my life is right now. i am completely out of the loop and it’s the worst feeling. big giant things are happening all around me but somehow i’m still in the dark.
in better news, i’m looking into buying a new cello bow outright, instead of getting my old one repaired. gadget upgrade. and o’s birthday is in 3 days, and mine is in 41 days.
i’m just really getting pummelled from all directions. the top left of my brain hurts. tell me what that means.