my mental state has been, to put it bluntly, doo doo. for at least a week, i’ve felt angry and aggressive and overall pretty poopy and stupid. i’ve found plenty of things to blame it on – work getting busier, osiris leaving town, no rain and shitty sleep nights.
but really, i think what i was experiencing was separation anxiety from the ocean. it’s been since june that i even set foot on sand. seriously unacceptable. so my solution was to pick up yesterday morning, pack up some energy drinks and fruit and drive to wrightsville beach by myself. holy crap. instantly, my mood improved. the first wave stole my sunglasses, but that was 100% alright. i just stood in the water for a while, feeling its majesty, and letting my anxieties sweat out of me and get absorbed in the greater salt water. the sun felt hot and wonderful and it felt great to get a dose of vitamin d. then it started to rain slow, huge drops, which were amazing and refreshing. and, after getting my battery recharged for a couple of hours, i turned around and made the 2.5 hour drive back, listening to stereolab and smiling the whole way.