I’m typing this for Osiris. He hurts.
Worst April Fool’s Day Ever. I hate doctors even if they’re hot. I still don’t like medicine even if I don’t hurt. Hot doctors are hot. This morning, being Best Boyfriend Ever, I climbed wet ladder with my girlfriend’s keys and fresh cut tree wildflowers. Then come down and fall hard. Twisted a lot in the air but not enough. I blame the wheat that snuck into my taco. Had to cry but didn’t cry with tears. Then Alison and Lyle came out and took me to the doctor. It hurt. Chapel Hill roads are too bumpy and hilly. But people are nice. Also, broken right leg, hurt right side, bruised shoulder, sprained wrist and scrapes. But it was funny, right? I’m going to try to work anyway. Get money. Get paid. I gotta drink lots of milk and eat lots of ice cream. Calcium #1! -Osiris.
“Don’t call me April Fool! (you can write that) I was born in June!” “Hurts to sit and type, so thank you, Alison.”
What Osiris has failed to mention is that he was climbing a ladder so he could put my keys and flowers on the roof before I left for work. Also that he is terrified of climbing the ladder to the roof, even though I love it, so it is extra ironic that he’s the one who fell. Poor guy for real, though, he is struggling. Send hugs and ace bandages!
superglue gumshoe 
oh god. poor osiris 😦
can we help? is there is anything I can do to help?
I think he’ll be okay. He’s all drugged up on liquid vicodin right now (he can’t take pills) so he’s in an okay place. We also rented Shampoo last night, so maybe Warren Beatty will help.
I hope this is a joke, because I waited all night to go to Ragefire Chasm.
Maybe you will never know.
omg poor osiris!!! how’s he feeling?
He feels fine. I feel a little like this was a terrible April Fool’s joke to pull on people because they seem genuinely concerned.
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