The last couple of years, Osiris and I have spent New Year’s Eve just going out to bars by ourselves. I love hanging out with friends and making plans and sharing experiences, but for a night that’s already so full of expectation and anticipation, it’s always good to avoid any unnecessary anxiety about coordinating plans. These are the things I continue to realize as I grow older. It’s part of a series of revelations I’ve had about things I was warned of when I was younger but I just wasn’t ready to hear. Some things you just have to learn for yourself.
I don’t generally make new year’s resolutions. I never remember or keep them, so why punish myself? Instead I will just try to keep my mind open to adulthood and responsibility, to do what needs to be done and try to whine less. I have goals, naturally, but keeping strict deadlines with myself has never been a strength. It never occurred to me to make a one-, five- or ten-year plan. So instead I will just continue to be myself in all my creativity and ambition wrapped in laziness and exhaustion but strive to shift the balance of these characteristics.